If you have kids, a divorce has the potential to be particularly hard on your family unit. It may be difficult to communicate the idea of a divorce to your kids effectively, especially if they are quite young. Still, it is vital that you communicate with your children before, during, and after the divorce, as ensuring they have a decent upbringing should be your top priority. With the help of a St. Charles divorce lawyer, you can focus on helping your kids during your divorce.

Maintaining Healthy Communication

While you pursue a divorce, it is important that you remember your divorce doesn’t just affect you. It will impact every aspect of your life, including your social circle, your extended family, and especially your kids. A divorce is not just a quick signature and permanent separation from your ex forever. You must sift through every part of your shared lives and disconnect them. That includes your finances, your housing, and your parenting situation as you know it.

As you navigate the divorce process with your kids, it is vital that you foster and encourage healthy and open communication. That means being honest with your kids while also letting them know that they can always be honest with you, too. You may want to consider sitting down with your child and informing them of what life may look like post-divorce.

You may, however, decide not to discuss certain elements that are too heavy or inappropriate for your children. Ultimately, you should be as honest as you can.

According to information from the CDC, Missouri has one of the highest divorce rates in the country, with a divorce rate of 2.7 per 1,000 residents in 2022. At the same time, the marriage rate in Missouri was around 5.8 per 1,000 residents in 2023, according to data from the Missouri Department of Health and Senior Services. If you are having trouble coping after your divorce, you may want to reach out to a local support group, such as Singles Again. They can help you.

How to Talk to Your Child About Divorce

Talking to your child about divorce can be one of the most difficult and painful elements of the entire divorce process. Understandably, you may have no idea where to even start having that conversation. You may be concerned about how honest you want to be with your child about what is causing the divorce and how you feel about the other parent. Here are some tips about how to talk to your child about the divorce process and what the future looks like for them:

  • First of all, it may be beneficial to sit down and have this conversation with both parents present. Your child may still see the family as a unit, and approaching the divorce conversation together could help your child continue to trust both parents equally. It may limit your child’s confusion, prioritize stability, and present a united front when it comes to parenting. There’s also more of a chance that your child won’t blame themselves.
  • You should prioritize a sense of calm throughout the conversation. If you are visibly upset or panicked, your child will likely sense that this is going to be a difficult and painful conversation. They may start to react emotionally and could even be traumatized by just the conversation. Don’t say anything negative about the other parent, and be honest without being aggressive. It may not be easy to do this.

  • Tell your child the truth about what life will be like after the divorce is finalized. Every divorce is different, and it can be hard to tell what changes are going to occur until you are further into the proceedings.

    Still, with every divorce comes change. Once you learn what those changes are, you should inform your child. This includes being honest about where they will be living, which parent will be getting primary custody, and whether their school situation is changing.

FAQs

Q: Is a Lawyer Really Necessary for My Divorce?

A: It depends. If your divorce is uncontested and you are able to amicably work things out with your former spouse, then a divorce lawyer may not be necessary. Still, it couldn’t hurt to have someone by your side who understands the process. When a divorce is contested, that’s when the guidance of a lawyer is crucial. The process can get emotional, personal, and unpredictable. A professional legal advocate can help you navigate everything.

Q: How Is Child Custody Determined in Missouri?

A: Child custody is determined in Missouri by figuring out which parent’s custody will be more beneficial for the child’s welfare. Above all, the court must do what’s right for the child. To ensure this, they may have to decide against certain custody arrangements you or your spouse have requested. Alternatively, they may agree to your proposed custody arrangement. It depends on your case and whether your desires align with the child’s well-being.

Q: Why Is Communication Important During a Divorce?

A: Communication is important in every relationship. During a divorce, it is vital that you communicate with your kids about everything that’s changing around them. Your children may not be receptive to change at first. They may be looking to you or your spouse to assure them that things are changing for the better and that the breakdown of the family unit is not their fault. Honest and open communication can help avoid certain traumas.

Q: Which Parent Will Get Custody?

A: There is no way to tell which parent will get primary custody without first investigating each parent’s role in the child’s upbringing. Neither parent is automatically seen as the caregiver in Missouri. The mother and the father have an equal chance of gaining full custody, and the court will consider many different elements before awarding custody. It’s likely the court will push for joint custody, as that gives each parent equal responsibility.

Contact a Lawyer Today

At Stange Law Firm, we can help you navigate your divorce, work out a parenting plan, and make sure you aren’t taken advantage of. Contact us to speak to someone on our team about your case.